I have come to a strange and paradoxical conclusion based on nothing more than a random thought and a Google search.
We spend our time being creative. We write, or draw, or paint, or record our thoughts and feelings in the vague hope that it will come across as the next great Insert-Your-Nationality-Here work - and I have found that there is simply nothing new any more to say or do. It is merely a rehash or re-imagining of a fundamental idea. Take fantasy for example: there is a staple set of "rules" that govern a fantastic world - anything that deviates from this set of criteria run the risk of becoming too abstract and so will fail to engage a consumer. Consumer. That looks like it's spelt wrong.
Wait a second.
Nope, it checks out, so anyway. Tolkien had given a large audience what we now as a collective consciousness refer to as 'fantasy' - Elves and Dwarves, Magic, epic destiny and so on. Trying to be original in a world where the standard template is that of the above is pretty tricky; it has been done, but only by toning down such ideas and making it more 'real' - Joe Abercrombie's "The Blade Itself" series is an awesome example, touching lightly on the concept of magic but instead of branching out within the genre it chooses to sit firmly within the trunk. That's fine, and his portrayal of his characters as merely fallible people is amazing.
I have written a book you know. I now pull on my finest smoking jacket and smuggest, most shit-eating smile I can muster. I enjoyed writing it, but I felt constrained to comply to this archetype of Fantasy and the Hero's Journey or Monomyth in which the hero goes through a set of attitudes and challenges (Wiki it; it's very interesting to look through and compare it to anything you've read so far; you may even raise your eyebrows whilst exhaling through your nose at it), simply because everything involving fantasy, even from the Redwall books I read as a nipper to the Wheel of Time follows this template to a certain degree.
Still, in my story a man gets a clout in the mush. I won't say who, because it might spoil it.
OR DOES HE
Maybe the template is just a means to insert your own attitudes and beliefs into a fantastic setting through which you engage the reader, and in doing so put across those beliefs without feeling contrived or preaching. Who knows?
In other news, I went biking with a good friend of mine for four days. I was awesome, and then I fell off, hurting my limbs, body and face areas. It hurt. And still does, though not as much. I didn't cry though; at least not in view of anyone, so that's pretty manly, right?
This whole, stupid block of text came about as a result of a conversation with my better half and realising that ducks, instead of beaks, were wearing dog masks. Seriously, Google a duck and look. Underneath this dog mask they have either:
- A grotesque, Lamprey like maw, all fangs and cartilage
- A perfectly formed human mouth
I considered going to the park in which to apprehend a duck, leaping upon it and wrenching the vile disguise from its head but that could either reveal the ducks for what they truly are, resulting in the deaths of millions of people, as they would decide that now they have been rumbled they should wreak havoc upon the world. Or more likely, result in my arrest for breaking a duck's neck in a public park in front of two misty-eyed toddlers feeding them bits of a bread. I'm not sure my conscience could take it.
You win this time, winsome water fowl. I actually Googled 'duck dog masks' and found that a lot of people had the same idea - hence the title.
I bring shame upon the clan.
